Remember the Porter

ACT II, SCENE III. Court of Macbeth’s castle.

[Knocking within. Enter a Porter.]

Porter   Here’s a knocking indeed! If a man were porter of hell-gate, he should have old turning the key.

[Knocking within.]

Knock, knock, knock! Who’s there, i’ the name of Beelzebub? Here’s a farmer, that hanged himself on the expectation of plenty:
come in time; have napkins enow about you; here you’ll sweat for’t.

[Knocking within.]

Knock, knock! Who’s there, in the other devil’s name? Faith, here’s an equivocator, that could swear in both the scales against
either scale; who committed treason enough for God’s sake, yet could not equivocate to heaven: O, come in, equivocator.

[Knocking within.]

Knock, knock, knock! Who’s there? Faith, here’s an English tailor come hither, for stealing
out of a French hose: come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose.

[Knocking within.]

Knock, knock; never at quiet! What are you? But this place is too cold for hell. I’ll devil-porter it no further: I had thought to have
let in some of all professions that go the primrose way to the everlasting bonfire.

[Knocking within.]

Anon, anon! I pray you, remember the porter.

[Opens the gate.]

[Enter MACDUFF and LENNOX.]

MACDUFF  Was it so late, friend, ere you went to bed,
That you do lie so late?

Porter  ‘Faith sir, we were carousing till the second cock: and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things.

MACDUFF What three things does drink especially provoke?

Porter  Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and

urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes;

it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes
him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to;
in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.

MACDUFF  I believe drink gave thee the lie last night.

Porter  That it did, sir, i’ the very throat on
me: but I requited him for his lie; and, I
think, being too strong for him, though he took
up my legs sometime, yet I made a shift to cast
him.

MACDUFF  Is thy master stirring?

[Enter MACBETH.]

Our knocking has awaked him; here he comes.

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